I'm suffering from a tremendous mental block as of late. I want so badly to just be able to continue this book and skip all the blocks and interruptions. But it seems impossible. I'm trying to stay positive. Of course, all of this bullshit with my health doesn't help me at all to keep moving forward with my words. And it's so irritating.
I love having Michele in my life. And obviously it's because she's the most astounding person I know and because without her, I am near positive I wouldn't have made it this far. But our minds reflect off of each others and because we have experienced MOST every part of life together for the last eleven years, gathering up these memories is easier because I have her memories to work with as well.
I really hope to G-d that putting this story out there will at least open up teenagers to the dangerous effects of losing your mind. If anything, maybe that's what I'm hoping for most: that I can effect at least just one person. Most of all though, I think I need to get it out there so it's off my chest and off my mind a little more than it is now.
However, a lot of what I have written is from my mind during the ages of 15-19. And let me just put it out there that I know personally, I have changed the most from the ages of 19-21. And my words are a lot different now; I am a lot different now.
So my brain is at this blockade which almost seems permanent and I keep trying to break it down but it's just causing what seems like actually, literal pain. It's strange.
Here's to trying to beat writers block.
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ever since you told me i'd change dramatically from 18-21 i've thought about that every single day, because i finally know it to be true. here i am, 20 years old, an entirely different person from when we first met, and it amazes me. i'm so thankful that i have you in my life, you are such an amazing influence on me. i talk about you all the time to my friends who haven't been lucky enough to meet you yet, about how much i've always looked up to you and admired your ability to forgive and start anew. you are so important to me, anne. whenever i feel as though i'm losing my mind i just think back to simple words of advice you've given me throughout the few years we've been close, and i feel comforted. i love you so much and i can't wait to see you again <3
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