Fight For Your Right.

It's funny to have one perspective of a person and then venture to their pathetic little online community where you try to prove you can still exist without regret and come across these little notations that people outside of your realism leave you, praising you, giggling at your witty remarks or your sad excuse of attempts to shield the loathsome authenticity you work your ass off to hide so fucking hard every day of your retched little life. it's funny because it's already past the point of some inapprehensible sort of repugnance, detestation, fucking utter disgust; some kind of sickness that no word could ever describe. just one other person on this entire planet is allowed to imaginably define that word, had they ever come up with one strong enough to describe you.

sheltered by your fake smiles and confidence in the fact, or at least the biggest fucking hope, the one person continues upon living precariously so you can just live. funny, so funny that the outside world, they don't know. funny that they could never imagine. funny, that you grow the balls so late at night to come up with these epiphanies that you hope will help you sleep better at night.

and they don't work. they never work. and you cry, you think it hurts, you imagine this is what the pain right before death must feel like. but that pain, the one that sends those hellish tears streaming down your face still does not, not even in the least, compare to the pain that other person feels. the one you so fucking selfishly destroy without being man enough to admit it to yourself.

continue to find your excuses. continue to pretend to make some kind of make believe reenactment in your mind if that's what makes you feel better.

but you should know that the only thing that would make that other person feel better is you, plummeting off of your pile of despicable sickness and right before hitting the ground, the sight of you landing on your sharp wit, straight through the fucking heart you must have lost somewhere during your descend from a mansion in heaven to your fiery pit in hell.